The Initial Discovery – Around July 25th
I did not expect this. Definitely not unwanted but completely unexpected. I’m pregnant? I’m pregnant. Am I really? Holy crap. It doesn’t seem real. I had just started working for e.p.t. about a month ago. I didn’t fail to see the irony in this. New job. New baby. What have I gotten myself into? This is going to be an adventure. I was suddenly grateful my mom told me to start taking folic acid when trying to conceive. I was grateful that I listened to her. I wanted my baby to have all the help it could get.
This is how it went down:
I went off birth control pills in May. I had never tried to conceive before. I thought it would take about 6-months after I went off birth-control. Why 6 months? I have no clue, none whatsoever. It was a number I deemed relevant in my head, no scientific significance whatsoever. That’s how long I thought it would take me to mentally prepare to carry another life inside of me. It did not take 6 months. I actually thought I was pregnant towards the end of June, I was completely exhausted and felt weird. I took a test, it was negative, I got my period a few days later on the 29th. Little did I know that would be my last period for a while.
The end of July was approaching, I didn’t feel much different. Any weird feelings I attributed to my hormones getting their stuff back together or PMS. PMS symptoms are way too similar to the first signs of pregnancy for my liking. Did I mention I have ADD? I do. It’s bad. You know what else I heard was bad? Taking Adderall while pregnant. This lead me to be pretty paranoid. I was trying to taper off ADD meds so if I did get pregnant I would do no harm. My body felt like the ADD meds weren’t helping anymore and I didn’t want to take them. A sign? Perhaps. Another sign? I FaceTimed my mom the night before and when she saw me she asked me right away if I was pregnant. I’m guessing I wasn’t looking my best that Monday evening. The next day on my way home from work, I stopped and picked up a generic pregnancy test. I thought it was going to be negative. My goal was to save my money to buy a name brand test when I thought there would actually be a chance. I wanted that sucker to pick up any trace of hCG…..and it did. There was a faint line. Could that be an evaporation line? Probably, whew! Good thing this box came with two tests! I decided to take the next test the following morning. This was when Google told me my urine was the most concentrated. Another faint line. Am I pregnant? I’m pregnant. OH MY GOSH. Is this real life? What happened to my six-month plan?! I am 31 and according to most of my family “no longer a spring chicken” but apparently, I am fertile. Thank God. My 6-month plan was out and a baby was in. I confirmed this many times, with many tests. I took around 8 or 9 in total. I blame this on my disbelief, I felt like I needed constant reassurance the baby was still on board. I was still in shock. My husband (Adam) and I were experiencing excitement and a little bit of anxiety coursing through our veins.
I was completely oblivious to the nightmare of a first trimester I was about to have.